The Power of Words

The main reason I went to medical school to become a doctor was because I wanted to help people. When I played an online computer game before I realised how bad it was for me, I created the most useful characters I could think of, again because I wanted to help people.

Being a doctor in real life does help people’s health, although I can’t say much about the real good of helping people in an online game! One of the things that kept going through my mind even when I was doing it was that this is helping people with stuff that doesn’t even exist!!

How much better it would be to help people with their souls, which do exist and which last for eternity.

So in light of all that, this verse really stood out to me when I read it this week:

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. Pro 16:24

Our words, if they are pleasant, can help both the soul and the body! That’s amazing to me, after thinking I had to qualify as a doctor or a nurse in order to help people. Words are so much simpler.

Creating those words is not always so easy, but to know that words have such power is really exciting. If we work on what we say we could really help people.

The word ‘pleasant’ here means delightful, beautiful. Pleasant and delightful words will calm, soothe, encourage and help the soul, and in doing so will also help the body, since our physical health is often affected by our emotions and feelings like stress and anxiety.

Also if we compare other scriptures, both wisdom and the word of God are likened to a honeycomb, so these pleasant words probably refer to those as well. If we grow in wisdom and our knowledge of the word of God and are able to use it to talk to others then this should lead to more of the words which help the soul and body.

Matthew Henry says that these pleasant words mean: 'Words of seasonable advice, instruction, and comfort, words taken from God's word…the good word of God is a means of spiritual strength, curing the diseases that weaken us.'

Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21

Many of the Psalms are the words of one man written down, and are so helpful. Proverbs also are mainly the words of one man, and again are very helpful. So there are two examples of real life, very busy, men who have helped countless millions of people with their words.

And if they can do it, that inspires me to think that maybe we can too – at least in some small way anyway :)

I'm linking up with these lovely blogs, so if you want to read more posts you can click on the links:

Word Filled Wednesday

We are Blessed!

It occurred to me today, not for the first time, that it can be really helpful for our contentment to think about how people live that are less well off.

We have been moving all the contents of the rooms around in our house, and it is so easy to be tempted to complain or think, ‘if only’ when things aren’t exactly as you would like them to be.

But when I start to think like that my mind quickly goes to a book I read recently of missions work in Hong Kong. There were families that only had one room between them, and shared one bed. 

That would certainly make it less far to walk when the kids wake up at night, but I can think of a lot of reasons why I wouldn’t want it that way too!

So now I tell myself, ‘Well at least we’re not all in one room!’ That really puts the lid on any feelings of discontent that might come – because we are blessed! We’re blessed with so much that others don’t have, and we have no reason to complain.

And even if we had less than that, we still have food and clothing, which is all we really need.

‘Now godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.  And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.’ 1 Tim 6:6-8

We also have God with us – the great and powerful loving God who made the universe!

‘Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"’ Heb 13:5-6

One book that was really good for me was ‘Singing Through the Night’. It contains courageous stories of Christian women living in places where there is persecution. If you read a book like this, it will take your eyes off yourself and help you realise you are blessed.

I would just like to encourage you, when you start thinking discontented thoughts of, ‘if only…things were different', to turn your thoughts to people who are a lot worse off.

It has helped me to grow in contentment, and also to give thanks to God for what he has blessed us with. We have so much to be thankful for!

Steps to Forgiveness

Forgiving can be very tough. Sometimes there are really big wrongs that are hard to forgive. Other times it is all the little aggravations which can be hard to forgive and build up to resentment, and I think this is especially true in close relationships like marriage and family.

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Eph 4:32 

As Christians we are called to forgive. Though I still struggle with this at times, I have grown a lot and want to share some of the things that I have learned which help me:

Realise God works all things for good

I once really struggled with forgiving someone but as I read through the Bible I was convicted. It was the story of Joseph that really got to me - where he forgave his brothers and said that 'you meant it for evil but God meant it for good'.

I realised that God has a plan anyway, and I need to trust Him, and also that I shouldn't hold things against people even if they meant it for evil.

Cover over as much as you can

I always remind myself of 'love will cover a multitude of sins' and try to cover over things and forgive them quickly. It helps to remember that we are all sinners in one way or another!

Communicate if necessary

I think God wants us to cover over as much as we can, but in the cases where it is causing a problem in how we view the other person or it is coming between us then we may need to talk to them.

"Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. Matt 18:15

It is important that if we do this, we plan and pray about what to say, and find a good time to talk so that it is more likely that it will go well.

If there is something between my husband and I which I am really struggling to let go of then I will talk to him about it at a time when the kids are in bed and we are both sitting down. I also tell him in advance that I need to talk to him so he knows something is coming up.

Don’t let the sun go down on your anger

With my husband especially I always keep in mind the verse about not letting the sun go down on your anger. So I try and always make up before the end of the day, however hard it may be!

Say sorry

When I want to heal a breach in a relationship I try and think of something to apologise for even if I feel it is not my fault! There usually is something you can say sorry for, as there is often some kind of speck or plank in your own eye as well as theirs. It is a great way of starting a conversation when you are both mad at each other, and helps keep you humble.

Try to see things from their perspective

Sometimes I have been really upset with someone, but when I put my mind to it to try and figure out why they did what they did I was able to understand and have more sympathy for them. Then it becomes a lot easier to forgive.

Many relational problems arise from misunderstandings, so it helps if we can work towards understanding their perspective.

Pray for them

Sometimes I struggle with seeing the other person lovingly. When that happens I have to pray that God would help them, and also pray FOR them.

Heap burning coals on their head

Sometimes if I am mad at someone this passage is a great help:

Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay," says the Lord. Therefore "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Rom 12:19-21

I remember once when we were dating I was really mad at my husband about something, and I decided to heap burning coals of fire on his head and make him a really nice big chef salad (which he loves).

It was amazing that doing that for him changed my heart and also healed the resentment between us. Sometimes I give him a shoulder rub even though inside I am still fuming, and by the end of it I'm not anymore!

Don’t bring it up again

The word ‘forgive’ in the Bible means to forsake, lay aside, leave. If you forgive someone you should try not to bring it up again either in your mind or in conversation. So when my husband and I have an argument and I forgive him, I also try to forget about it, and not keep thinking about it. It wouldn’t help me anyway!

Over time I have got a lot better at forgetting things, to the point that sometimes he will say sorry for something and I can't even remember what it was!

If you want to read more on this topic, there is a great book called ‘The Peacemaker’ by Ken Sande. It gives lots of practical and Biblical advice on how to resolve conflict.

Linking up with:

Winsome Wednesdays

When Tasks Overwhelm

We can be so busy, and have so much to do, that we can get discouraged when we see that what we do isn't as perfect as we want it to be, or as others might expect it to be.

I often feel discouraged because I wonder how I can get everything done, and feel like giving up before I've even started! I was reading a post on perfectionism and overwhelming to do lists by Ann Voskamp yesterday that made me think. She said,

'I don’t open my eyes…. To my dust and my smudges and my grime and my love-smeared mess. Why can’t I remember: the state of my space doesn’t reflect the state of my soul.'

I found an online definition of perfectionism that said it is: 'a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.' I guess that I am quite susceptible to this, although I think I would be content with 80/90% of perfection!!

I would really like to get EVERYTHING done every day that I wanted to. I would like to have a moderately clean and tidy house every day. And when I don't, or when it looks like I won't, I get discouraged.

And in thinking about it I realised a few things that may help when all the things we have to do look like they are going to overwhelm us:

God wants perfect character more than perfect work

Though we are told to work with all our heart at whatever we do, I can't think of anywhere where God tells us to make sure our work is perfect! On the other hand I can think of plenty of places where we are encouraged to grow towards perfection of character (although of course we will never get there completely until heaven).

Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. 2 Cor 7:1

So I think as far as our work goes we need to 'do our best and commit the rest' and remember that our character and seeking after the righteousness of Christ is what God values. So while hopefully that will mean a good standard of work, at times it just isn't possible - and then it shouldn't get us down.

Look up instead of around you

Elisabeth Elliot's second husband died a slow and agonizing death, and she says: 'even when he was at his worst and I was barely able to get through a day, the work was there, and by the grace of God I did it. When I remembered to look up instead of around me and to offer the work to the Lord, it was much easier and more pleasant.'

That is often my problem - that I look at all the laundry and dishes and tidying waiting to be done, and look at the very little energy I have to do it, and wonder how? But I need to I look up instead: look at God, ask for help, look at it in light of eternity and the glory of God and as Ann says, turn the problems to praise.

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. Col 3:1,2

Focus on your calling, not your to do list

It makes such a difference when I take 5 minutes to write down the important things I have to do that day and then pray and write down the order of priority.  Otherwise it is so easy to get distracted by things that call out to me, but in reality can wait and are not as important as others.

However if all we think about is our list then we are bound for despair, as even the best time managers in the world say that we will never get everything done that is on our list! If we focus on what God has called us to, then it helps us to weed out the things that are less necessary or can wait, and concentrate on the things that are more important in God's eyes.

Another quote from Elisabeth Elliot (all these are from her book, 'Discipline - The Glad Surrender' which is really good!): 'There is always enough time to do the will of God.' which she gets from the fact that Jesus was able to say, "I have finished the work You gave me to do."

Don't worry, but seek God

This week I have been thinking a lot about this worry passage :)

"Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matt 6:31-34

 I realised that I'm not worrying about clothes and food, but I am worrying about what to do with my time, and how to get everything done! And it's still worrying!

So instead I need to seek God's kingdom and His righteousness, and not worry so much about how to spend my time, just follow my schedule the best I can, and when I can't then follow what it appears would most please God.

Everything gets so much easier in my mind when I simply narrow it down to pleasing God as my only aim.

Don't be too busy to sit at Jesus' feet

In the Bible, Martha was worried and troubled about serving, just as we can get that way when we are trying to think of how to get everything done on time and well. But Jesus said that Mary had the better part, and she was sitting at His feet.

But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:40-42

I think we can get so caught up in being busy for good things that we actually forget to sit at Jesus' feet. Also if we do take time to sit at Jesus' feet, then we will be able to ask Him for strength and help, and be able to ask for guidance and wisdom to keep us on track with what God has called us to do.

Now I probably need to print this off and stick it somewhere to remind me when I start mumbling in my mind like Ann says she does in her post:

'I eat breakfast in silence and I don’t know how I am going to get dressed for church, rustle up a meal for 10 when we get home from church, make it through Latin and spelling and the early Renaissance and piano scales and fractions and the three meals a day for eight people this week and the 4 loads of laundry a day and all the prayers between now and church again next Sunday.'

Well at least I can thank God that I only have 2 loads of laundry a day, and 6 people to feed!

Responding to Trials with Worship

Worshipping is not the first thing we really think of when we are going through a difficult experience. But I was really struck when I was reading Job the other day, that he was told that his children were all dead, his servants were dead, and his animals were gone, and what was his response? He fell to the ground and worshipped.

I just thought, wow, I've got a long way to go! My first reaction to something difficult is to try to get through whatever is happening, then to try to respond rightly rather than feeling sorry for myself... but worship? That's more what I do when I'm happy and thanking God!

But I think God is teaching me something here, because these last two weeks I have been struggling with children getting up in the night and getting a lot less sleep than usual. As a result I sleep later, then everything falls behind, and then I get stressed or discouraged because I can't everything done.

So the other day I was struggling with feelings of tiredness and discouragement, and in my kitchen I turned my worship music on as I often do in that kind of situation. Nothing really changed though... until I started singing. Gradually I felt my mood change - my spirits started to lift, and I started to focus more on God because I was singing about Him.

Now I understand more why we are encouraged to sing:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. Col 3:16

We often sing when things are going well, but we need to sing more when things are going badly as well! Paul and Silas sang when they were in jail. Maybe we can try and follow the example of Job, of whom God Himself said that 'there is none like him on the earth', and respond to our difficulties not by questioning God, or by feeling down and having a pity-party as my husband loves to call it, but by worshipping God who has given us all that we ever had to start with.

Also it is not just singing, but our heart attitude - I don't know that Job actually sang, but he worshipped God which means to bow down, to do reverence to. And then he gave that amazing speech of trust, contentment and praise:

And he said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord." In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong. Job 1:21-22

Here is the song that I was listening to when I started to sing that day, called 'When The Tears Fall' by Tim Hughes: a great song to help you lift your eyes off your tears and struggles and on to praising God.

Linking up with:

 

 Thought Provoking Thursday Koinonia Thursday 

Beholding Glory

The Balance of God's Effort and Ours

Yesterday I was sitting on the couch doing some private prayer time with my lovely quilt lying over me. My mother hand-quilted it for me about 10 years ago. She had wanted to make me one, but I didn’t like any of the ones in her books until we came to a book of Amish quilts where there are brighter, block colours rather than the old-fashioned kind of fabric with lots of patterns on.

So she ended up making me one like that, with rainbow kinds of colours which I love; my favourite kind of landscape in the middle with hills, trees, sea and sunset; and Bible verses around the picture.

As I was looking at it today I reflected on the Bible verses that I had chosen to go around it – my favourite four verses. And again it struck me, as it has many times recently, that the Bible is quite clear on there being two sides to our Christian walk and growth. We are told to make effort, but we are also told that we need to depend on God who will help us. And both sides are necessary for us to grasp.

These are the four verses I asked my mum to put around the quilt:

And whatever you do, do heartily, as to the Lord and not to men

Col 3:23

This is something we are commanded to do, to work for God and not for men, and for me it is an inspiring challenge.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Mat 6:33 

A command that puts the responsibility on us, to seek God first, but with a great promise which means that if we do, God will take care of the rest.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Jas 4:8 

Again this is something we are told to do, but if we do this and draw near to God, God also promises to draw near to us.

It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect.

Psa 18:32 

All those commands are balanced with this comfort – that God will give us strength and make us perfect, even though we won’t get all the way to perfection till heaven! So we can rest in that knowledge.

If it wasn’t for this last one, we could be cast down by the seeming impossibility of the others. But when we know it is God who is behind the scenes transforming us, it is so comforting. And then we also need to remember that God has lots of grace for when we fail.

If we neglect dependence on God, we will get discouraged when we don’t get where we want to, and we can get proud as we rely on our own strength. But if we neglect doing anything ourselves then we will not be going forward very much towards greater holiness, because even though God could do the whole thing by itself, he wants us to take our part.

A balance is needed, where we strive for holiness, but also ask for and depend on God’s help, and realise that God has grace for when we fail.

I think it’s a bit like climbing a ladder – where we are making the effort to climb, but prayer is the ladder put there by God to support and help us get higher, and God’s grace is the cushion at the bottom that helps us get back up again when we fall.

The balance of God's effort and ours is summed up in these verses:

'Work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure' Phil 2:12-13

The Very Worried Sparrow

My daughter has been struggling with bad dreams and crying at bedtime because she's scared of having more of them. So last week I read her a story that I got from the local library, and I think it actually helped her!

It was called, 'The Very Worried Sparrow'. A little sparrow was born, that was not like the rest of his family, because instead of going 'cheep, cheep' he went 'meep, meep' as he was worried about everything.

What finally changed him was when the Turtledove told him the stories about 'the Great Father who made us all and who cares about every sparrow' and he realised that he didn't have to worry anymore!

I explained this to Hope, how God made us and cares about us, and He knows and cares for every sparrow so he is definitely looking after us. Now I say to her, 'Are you going meep, meep, or cheep, cheep?' and she invariably says "Cheep, cheep!"

The story reminded me of a poem my mum and dad wrote down for me when I was very young:

Overheard In An Orchard

Said the robin to the sparrow,
"I would really like to know
Why those anxious human beings
rush around and worry so."

Said the sparrow to the robin,
"Friend, I think that it must be
That they have no Heavenly Father
such as cares for you and me."

~Elizabeth Cheney~

We can get worried about so much, but if we would only remember that God made us, He loves us, and He will not let anything happen to us unless He has allowed it.

He even sends His angels to watch over us and that is no small thing - I was just reading this morning how God sent one angel down to kill 185,000 men who were camped to fight against Jersualem!

The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them.

Psa 34:7

Here is a great song by Twila Paris called 'God is in Control':

On Being A Servant of God

I don't get much time to read books nowadays, and I don't often read books twice. But there are a few that do get read more than once... and this one I have read twice and underlined loads, because it is FULL of inspiration, challenge, and encouragement to greater things.

 It is about serving God, which we all should all be doing in some way or other as Christians. And if you're worried that you're not serving God because you're at home all day, Spurgeon says "You are as much serving God in looking after your own children, and training them up in God's fear, and minding the house, and making your household a church for God, as you would be if you had been called to lead an army to battle for the Lord of hosts."

In this book Warren Wiersbe has collected his thoughts on what he has learned over the years from Christian ministry. There is lots of challenging stuff, but I like to be challenged.

I don't want to just go along at the same pace - I want to grow more like Christ every day, and learn how to please Him better. So I see this kind of thing as a great help to motivate me and show me how to grow in my Christian life.

Here are some great excerpts:

On the glory of God: 'When you find yourself more concerned about your "image" than your character and your work, you have stopped glorifying God.'

On forgiveness: 'The biblical meaning of forget (as in Heb 10:17) is "not to hold it against the person and let it affect your relationship."'

On bad days: 'Make up your mind that you're going to serve God, no matter how you feel. Then you can stop wasting precious time and energy having a debate with yourself every time you don't feel good.'

On reading books: 'When you stop reading, you stop growing and when you stop growing, you start dying.'

On joy in service: 'Most of the people you meet day after day are either wasting their lives or merely spending their lives, but God's servants have the privilege of investing their lives in what is eternal.'

On money: 'Many of God's choicest servants are underpaid and overworked, yet they count it a privilege to minister'

On failure: 'How do we learn from our failures? Not by sitting in a corner and brooding over them. That approach only prepares the way for another downfall. The smart thing to do is to evaluate what we did and try to find out what went wrong.'

This stuff is sooooooooo good! I highly recommend this book for every Christian to read as it is so challenging and shows us how to have a godly focus, as well as pointing out pitfalls to steer clear of. 

Forgetting What is Behind...

A while ago I had to cut something out of my life that wasn't good for me, and every so often I look back and think about it, and wish for it, and try to justify reasons why I might be able to sneak it back into my life again!

A few weeks back I was having those kind of thoughts when a line from the Bible popped into my head (thanks I think to memorising Philippians earlier this year!):

‘Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead’

Phil 3:13

I realised this is the perfect verse for me, because I need to forget those things and put them behind me. But even more than that, I need to press on and reach for the things which are ahead which are much better.

So now everytime those thoughts come into my head, I immediately recite that verse, and my focus changes and they go away.

Often to change our thinking we need to turn our minds from thinking wrongly to thinking Biblically. And it’s amazing how when you use a Bible verse to do that, it is just like a sword – it cuts off the head of the wrong thoughts. Jesus did the same in the wilderness when he was tempted by the devil - he didn't reason with him from his own thinking, but quoted the word of God, and shut him up!

I think we are prone to dwell in the past, which can lead us to feel guilty, sad, discouraged, or even tempted to go back to things that we left behind and it does not help us at all.

There are times when thinking about what is behind can be helpful if we are remembering how God has helped us or blessed us, or remembering from where we have fallen so that we can return there. Also there are times that thinking about the bad parts can be good if we still have some unfinished business and need to confess that we did wrong, and repent, and maybe make restitution or apologise to someone.

But aside from that God wants us to to forget what is behind us and reach forward to what is ahead. But what is ahead and how can this change us?

• We will see Jesus – that makes me want to live in a way that I will hear Him say, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.’
• We will go to heaven - that should give us hope: hope of a wonderful future with no sin, no pain, no tears, no suffering, a new body and with lovely companions!
• Everyone will be judged – we should want to tell as many people as we can about Him before time runs out.
• We will be rewarded – we are told to store up our treasure in heaven, where it is not eaten by moths, or rust, or stolen by thieves. Eternal rewards for me are hard to fathom, but the realisation that everything in this earth will perish and only that which is eternal will remain makes we want to do things that last and have eternal value. Like honouring God rather than working for man's approval, reaching souls for Christ, helping people to know more of God, and doing what God has called me to do rather than what I want to do for my own pleasure. Although I think I actually get far greater joy in the long run from doing God's will anyway!

So if you are dwelling on the past and getting discouraged or sidetracked, I would encourage you to memorise that verse, stick it up somewhere, or carry it around and recite it when the thoughts come. And then we can press forward to the glorious things that are ahead, without the weights of the past pulling us back!

Linking up with:

Winsome Wednesday

Thought Provoking Thursdays